COMMUNICATION LESSON 4: According to men and women…

COMMUNICATION LESSON 4: According to men and women…

I asked two men and two women the following four questions:

  1. Is communication important in your relationship? If so, why or why not?2. How do you communicate?
  2. How do you communicate?
  3. What is your love language?
  4. How often do you and your partner communication during the week?

Let’s see what they said.

Question 1: Is communication important in your relationship? If so, why or why not?

Man #1 (married)

Yes, number one important thing in a relationship. If you are communicating no one gets to assume anything and it’s healthier.

Man #2  (in a relationship)

Yes, because it keeps the relationship alive.

Woman #1 (married)

YES, it is important because it allows you to focus on the children and the relationship. You can duplicate things when you don’t communicate with one another. Communication makes the relationship stronger and builds your marriage.

Woman #2 (in a relationship)

Yes, if you can’t communicate you don’t know where your partner is. Communication lets the other person know what you like and what you don’t like. Without communication, it doesn’t allow the relationship to be successful.

Question 2: How do you communicate?

Man #1 (married)

I say exactly what I feel. Sometimes, it backfires. If I hold onto how I feel it will come out in my behavior which can be in a bad way.

Man #2  (in a relationship)

I communicate to see how my girlfriend is doing and to see if I can do anything to make her day easier.

Woman #1 (married)

I keep my husband informed with the children. In the past, I used to think independently and not always communicate with my husband. Over the years my communication has gotten better with my husband.

Woman #2 (in a relationship)

A majority of my communication is in the moment and it’s emotionally driven.

Question 3: What is your love language?

Man #1 (married)

Physical touch

Man #2  (in a relationship)

Words of Affirmation

Woman #1 (married)

Quality time

Woman #2 in a relationship

Acts of Service

How often do you and your partner communication during the week?

Man #1 (married)

once a week

Man #2  (in a relationship)

3 times a day

Woman #1 (married)

When we are on good terms several times a day and when there is tension: limited communication

Woman #2 (in a relationship)

Daily and throughout the day

What does this show?

Overall, the responses indicate how important communication is in a relationship. If you
are interested in knowing more about the 5 love languages check out our blog on “What
about the 5 love languages? Which one is your primary love language.”

Stay tuned as we continue to discuss communication in relationships in our next blog.

-Requina

COMMUNICATION LESSON 3: What is your love language?

COMMUNICATION LESSON 3: What is your love language?

Do you know what your primary love language is?

Dr. Gary Chapman describes the 5 love languages in his book: “The 5 love languages”

  1. Words of Affirmation
  2. Quality Time
  3. Receiving Gifts
  4. Acts of Service
  5. Physical Touch

Which one is your primary love language?

  • Do you like when people say words to you and you feel loved by the words (ex. I love you)?
  • Is it spending time with you partner? Maybe a Netflix and Chill or maybe not because we know what the outcome that comes from that.
  • Is it when you receive a nice gift or your favorite item (ex. a nice watch, a bag)?
  • Or do you prefer when your partner acts in a way to show you how much they love you (ex.
    Cook you a meal)?
  • Is it physical touch, receiving hugs or from your partner?
Dr. Chapman talks about identifying what your love language is and knowing your partners love language.

My love language might be Acts of Service (aka I feel loved when my partner does an act like wash my car for me.) But I need to know my partner’s love language and not assume because my love language is Acts of Service than it must be his love language too.

I highly recommended the 5 love languages book. If you are up for it, reading the book with your partner is a great conversation starter.

Then, once you both communicate what your primary love language is, decide
how to be more aware of providing your partner with their primary love language.

Now, it’s time to put it to practice.

Check out the 5 love languages to take the quiz.

-Requina

COMMUNICATION LESSON 2: Do’s and Think Abouts

COMMUNICATION LESSON 2: Do’s and Think Abouts

Communication do’s and you might want to think about (don’ts)!

Do’s

  1. Communicate
  2. Learn what your communication style is
  3. Share your communication style with your partner
  4. Listen to your partner before responding
  5.  Allow time/space to communicate with your partner regularly (daily and weekly)

You might want to think about (Don’ts)

  1. Avoid communicating
  2. Communicate and not understand what you want from the conversation
  3. Assume your way of communicating is the “right way” and/ or “only way.”
  4. Think you are the only one who has something to offer (say)
  5. Refuse to make time/space for communication with your partner

Every relationship has its own dynamics. However, when it comes to communication you can
trace back every decision, conflict or vacation planned, happened due to communication. Either
good communication, miscommunication or no communication.

Take a second and think about the last 6 months, if you and your partner made a decision or had a conflict what was the outcome? And how much did communication have to do with the outcome?

– Requina

Communication Lesson 1: Are we really talking?

Communication Lesson 1: Are we really talking?

What is communication anyway?

As defined by Merriam Webster dictionary communication is “a process by which information is exchanged between individuals through a common system of symbols, signs or behavior.”

Why is communication important in relationships?

If there is no communication, it is hard for your partner to know what you are thinking, feeling and why you are reacting the way you are.

This blog is meant to bring one of the main ingredients to a healthy long-term relationship.

With the idea that our partner doesn’t know what we think unless we share with them.

Our partner doesn’t know how we feel unless we tell them. Our partner doesn’t know
why we are reacting to an experience unless we let them into why.

I have been guilty to all of the above.

Saying to myself that my partner should know what I am thinking because he knows me, saying my partner should know how I am feeling because he sees I am upset or he should know why I am reacting this way because we have been together X amount of years.

These are all misconceptions I have made. Throughout a relationship there are different
celebrations, stressors, losses and challenges that occur and communication can decrease
conflict during each situation.

As the years go by in a relationship, we have to be aware of communicating consistently and being careful with falling into routine communication with our partners. Another way of looking at

Another way of looking at communication is asking yourself, “did I give my partner a hug today?”

– Requina